Sasquatch

It rained this weekend. And hailed.

I saw a boy in a pirate hat kissing a girl with a badminton racket.

And decided I love musicians but hate festivals.

Still, is there a better way to spend a weekend than stuck in a tent with too much whiskey? Tyson doesn't think so...

(for more pictures click here)
for the official entry click here

scheduling

(an e-mailed response from my mom when I asked her for details about her flight so I can pick her up from the airport)

Your dad and I are on Alaska flight #15. Boo is on Jet Blue flight #497. I think they both get in at about 9:30. You have the parking card. Don't bring anything or anyone. We have more shit than you can imagine.
--------------------------
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

I love my family.

"Drunk in a gutter somewhere in Hartford"

this looked much better on MySpace...
(please click here)

I photographed my sister's fish

I wanted to be in a murder mystery

last word

Not that anyone read the post about my daily word connundrum, of course, but here's today's:

May 10

An
English Language Learner's
Word of the Day

mystify

Pronounced: click here

Function: verb [with object]

Inflected forms:
mystifies; mystified; mystifying

Meaning:
: to confuse or bewilder (someone) completely
Examples:
mystified doctors for years.>
mystified [=baffled] her friends and family.>
mystified by his reaction. [=I could not understand his reaction]>
has been magicianmystifying his audiences for years with his amazing tricks.>

Note: Mystify is often used in the form mystifying as an adjective.
Example:
mystifying behavior>

Derived forms:
mystification noun [noncount]
Pronounced: click here

mystifyingly adverb

I found a dead pigeon

When I'm driving and I see road kill, I cringe and frequently choke back a squeel, especially if it's something cute. When I'm walking and I see road kill, I always wish I had my camera. I never seem to have it with me, of course. But yesterday leaving work I happened to have it stuffed in my bag when I walked through a parking lot on my way to my car. There was a dead pigeon, already half eaten by crows, lying there. I actually didn't feel much like taking pictures, but since this is the moment I'm always waiting for, I fired off a few rounds.

I thought it was going to be profound, or hauntingly beautiful or at least make one last piece of use out of this bird's existence. But crouching on the asphalt in the late-afternoon sun with my macro lens zooming in on the rasin-like remants of its eyeball I came to the conclusion that maybe it's just gross....













(I think you can see some more if you click here.)

this time with definitions

I have no faith.

I have so little faith that I've been accused, not infrequently, of an inability to believe what people feel if they can't explain it to me. Maybe even /that/ they feel. Of course, the total lack of a convincing theory of transcendence doesn't seem to lessen the yawn, buried somewhere under my frequently pained intercostal muscles.

In other words, while I may be incapable of faith (and trust, and the comfort that seems possible only when you stop looking for momentary elation) I still have crises of faith. All the time, actually. So today I'm having one. And while frequently I turn to astrology or Oprah, today I turn to the dictionary.

Remember in eighth grade when suddenly the most inspired way to start an exposition was with a quote from Webster's?

I signed up to receive the daily word from m-w.com a little while ago. I emphatically did not believe that it would shed light on my otherwise mysterious (read: I don't take responsibility for it because it's buried in my subconscious) life. I have refused, up to this moment, to read anything into these little insignificant pieces. (I have also refused to be unenthused by the fact that this particular daily word subscription turns out to be for non-native English speakers.)

But today I need your help. Today, by some miraculous fluke of destiny, I received not one, but two copies of the daily word, and today the word is "bottleneck". So beautiful and accurate and apropos of nothing, probably. But I'm convinced that it's significant. So...

Who can write The Brief History of My April based on the following outline:

(It would also be perfectly acceptable to offer an exposition in a sentence or two /using/ these words...)

(daily words with one horoscope thrown in for good measure)

Sunday 4/9: ersatz

Tuesday 4/18: giddy

Wednesday 4/19: jingoism

Thursday 4/20: marine

Saturday 4/22: earth

Sunday 4/23: idealize

Monday 4/24: flop

Virgo
(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
A winning attitude helps when it comes to having things go your way. It's amazing how much works out well simply because you expect it to. Keep your chin up and your hopes high right now.

Wednesday 4/26: nitty-gritty

Thursday 4/27: kindle

Friday 4/28: ax

Saturday 4/29: guff

Sunday 4/30: lob

Monday 5/1: highbrow

Tuesday 5/2: drege

Wednesday 5/3: artist

Thursday 5/4: bottleneck (x2)

Ok, GO!