Monday, June 26, 2006

the ever-requisite

"I just got home from a haircut" shot



"What's different?" you ask? "Shut up, I like Vanilla."

please note also: 1) the only necklace that has ever made me feel pretty; and 2) my favorite Emperor's new line-in-the-sand-drawing shirt—I swear to you, everyone in Seattle hates this shirt, and everyone in Portland has to (not always sucessfully) restrain themselves from stopping me on the street and oozing about how fantastic it is. ("Why, yes, it /is/ an original Claire la Faye from several years back before her excessive but only occasionally over-done ribbons on tutus phase.")

In any case ...

forgive the useless announcements-only post, but I'm taking a poll: Can you think of a bar in Seattle that won't clash horribly with a mid-sixties socialite cocktail hostess dress in an uncommon shade of electric magenta? Also, who in this "of course we can" town wants to come to Portland next weekend and challenge my buddies the Crazy Flipper Fingers at the first-ever official CFF-hosted pinball tournament?! (If you're not convinced, you can see some photos from last year's world championships in Pittsburg here first.)

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

(my new favorite) statement I never expected to hear from a boy:

"I wanna make you the snake-handling sweetheart of the indie-alt-country-rock-punk scene."

Thursday, June 15, 2006

I'm going to take pictures of bugs

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

IT Support:
A relationship in two parts



Part One:
In which an important message gets trapped in spam




From: It Support
Sent: Monday, June 12, 2006 9:24 AM
To: All Employees
Subject: New Spam Filter Test

Hello!

Starting later this afternoon we will be testing a commercial application that gives us more control and capability than our current spam filter. This application works differently than the Microsoft junk mail filter. It does not move all junk mail to a folder in your mailbox for you to manage. It actually moves all spam messages to a queue that IT manages. Therefore it is very important that you notify us if any messages you're expecting come up missing. We are not deleting anything so don't panic!

We will be very interested in obtaining feedback whether you notice a change in spam, both positive and negative.

Thanks!
The IT Department



From: Katherine Chapman
Sent: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 8:43 AM
To: It Support
Subject: RE: New Spam Filter Test

IT,

Hi. I think I might be missing an e-mail from someone named "#### ######". E-mail address should be ####.######@########.com.

thanks!
Kate



From: Pat ######
Sent: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 9:49 AM
To: Katherine Chapman
Subject: RE: New Spam Filter Test

Hi Kate,

I need to know approximately when #### attempted to send you a message.

Pat



From: Katherine Chapman
Sent: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 9:50 AM
To: Pat ######
Subject: RE: New Spam Filter Test


Hi Pat,

Should have been last night around five or five thirty.

thanks,
kc



From: Pat ######
Sent: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 10:01 AM
To: Katherine Chapman
Subject: RE: New Spam Filter Test

Interesting...

All of the ################## email was in a holding queue, which I just released. I see why it happened and I'm sure the problem is fixed, however, give it about 30 minutes for the contents of the queue to release to Exchange and you should see this message. If it doesn't show up by 11:00 AM let me know.

Pat



Part Two:
In which a spam filter saved me from myself, or,
How I came to love the guy who reads my e-mail




From: Katherine Chapman
Sent: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 11:28 AM
To: Pat ######
Subject: FW: let's try another medium...

Hi again, Pat. What is this about, then?

-Kate

_____________________________________________
From: System Administrator
Sent: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 11:26 AM
To: #### ######
Subject: Undeliverable: RE: let's try another medium...

Your message did not reach some or all of the intended recipients.

Subject: RE: let's try another medium...
Sent: 6/14/2006 11:26 AM

The following recipient(s) could not be reached:

#### ###### on 6/14/2006 11:26 AM
You do not have permission to send to this recipient. For assistance, contact your system administrator.
cassidy.#####.corp #5.7.1 smtp;550 5.7.1 Your e-mail was rejected by an anti-spam content filter on gateway (205.248.102.79). Reasons for rejection may be: obscene language, graphics, or spam-like characteristics. Removing these may let the e-mail through the filter.



From: Pat ######
Sent: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 11:51 AM
To: Katherine Chapman
Subject: RE: let's try another medium...

That would be Microsoft's email filter…

Can I see the message you were trying to send? And don't worry about the content, I don't care what you two were talking about... :)

Pat



From: Katherine Chapman
Sent: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 12:26 PM
To: Pat ######
Subject: RE: let's try another medium...

Hey Pat,

I'd be happy to send you the message, and actually, tempted to ask for some relationship counseling on the side. I just got a message from ####, though, and he says he doesn't even care to see it, so, never mind I guess.

thanks anyway!
Kate



From: Pat ######
Sent: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 12:31 PM
To: Katherine Chapman
Subject: RE: let's try another medium...

I wear many hats, including part-time relationship counselor but I can only offer one conclusion...

Men are a pain in the butt!

Trust me.

Pat



afterword: If you know me, chances are you've seen my nauseatingly calm panic mode. The two e-mails in question were each each at least three pages long and contained roughly two thirds of my bruised and aching heart. You can piece it together, I'm sure, but to be clear: I spent sixteen hours anticipating the first e-mail, another two rescuing it from purgatory, roughly one and a half composing a response and the last three concluding that he's right, or Microsoft's right, or something because isn't this what you always get:



From: #### ######
Sent: Wednesday, June 14, 2006 12:24 PM
To: Katherine Chapman
Subject: RE: let's try another medium...



All I want is to forget the whole thing.



Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Some Reasons for a Blog, or,
an attempt to excuse my laughable behavior



First, I appreciate that you notice, but as the six year old playing hide and go seek, I would rather pretend that with my eyes closed, you can't see me.

You of all people should understand that I don't want to be a burden. Conclusion: no, I'm not trying to get you to chase after me.

I'm glad it's nice when it's nice; for me, it's actually bad when it's nice.

sorry for whining

but isn't a blog because we want to prove that we're happy to say it without the effort it takes to assume that anyone cares?

Monday, June 12, 2006

today on IM

Kate: so usually I just feel like give and take should be sort of karmic

and now everything feels really windy

like there's a runway fan at the front of the stage of my life

well, more like on the left-hand side

Tyson: everything going away from you, and nothing coming in?

Kate: I'm getting plenty, and giving plenty, but I just don't see it all coming back around, you know?

Tyson: meaning you don't see the connectedness of your giving and what you receive?

Kate: well,

meaning, I just don't buy it

there's no reciprocation

everyone wants something

Tyson: including you?

Kate: must be, I guess

I just feel all out of whack

Friday, June 09, 2006

that no one owes you somethin'

I love the quality of your vowels.

I hate "shuffle", or, as my car stereo is calling it, "random".

I know it's ugly, but I listen to things in order. I like order. (Single most important indication of a good mix: During the fadeout, do you long for the next song on the tape, or are you still thinking about the original album?) This morning I got in my car, which was already playing one of my favorite gifted mixes. I felt good. A minute later I felt weird. Three and a half minutes after that I felt really uneasy. I looked down at my car stereo and the damn thing says "random" in tiny little letters floating on the upper left-hand corner of its irritating display. I don't know how it got there. I can't take it off. I told the guy when I bought the thing that "I don't want anything with more features than buttons and if it has more than five you're in trouble." This is definitely one of those features that requires you to hold down something while pressing something else. If I weren't feeling strangely blissful I might cry about being trapped. And I think it's not really that there's no order so much as there's order that I can't access.

I hit it a few times.

But today I love ambiguity facilitated by lack of punctuation.

And the occasional aspirated consonant.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

this is what I meant to say

21

It was then that the fox appeared.

"Good morning," said the fox.

"Good morning," the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.

"I am right here," the voice said, "under the apple tree."



"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."

"I am a fox," the fox said.

"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince. "I am so unhappy."

"I cannot play with you," the fox said. "I am not tamed."

"Ah! Please excuse me," said the little prince.

But, after some thought, he added:

"What does that mean—'tame'?"

"You do not live here," said the fox. "What is it that you are looking for?"

"I am looking for men," said the little prince. "What does that mean—'tame'?"

"Men," said the fox. "They have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?"

"No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean—'tame'?"

"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. It means to establish ties."

"'To establish ties'?"

"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ."

"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower . . . I think that she has tamed me . . ."

"It is possible," said the fox. "On the Earth one sees all sorts of things."

"Oh, but this is not on the Earth!" said the little prince.

The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious.

"On another planet?"

"Yes."

"Are there hunters on that planet?"

"No."

"Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?"

"No."

"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox.

But he came back to his idea.

"My life is very monotonous," the fox said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And, in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . ."

The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time.



"Please—tame me!" he said.

"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."

"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . ."

"What must I do, to tame you?" asked the little prince.

"You must be very patient," replied the fox. "First you will sit down at a little distance from me—like that—in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day . . ."

The next day the little prince came back.

"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox. "If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall already be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is to be ready to greet you . . . One must observe the proper rites . . ."

"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.

"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox. "They are what make one day different from other days, one hour from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all."



So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near—

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . ."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added:

"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."



The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.

"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."

And the roses were very much embarassed.

"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you—the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.



And he went back to meet the fox.

"Goodbye," he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose—" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . ."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

karaoke

Last Tuesday a boy sang the themesong to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles at karaoke. I totally ran over and kissed him.